And now, for your entertainment . . . a juggling act

How to juggle twins:

Scott is crying; he wants a bottle. Hannah starts crying too, because why not? Sure, she'll take a bottle too. Mommy runs and makes bottles; pops a bottle in in each mouth; crying stops.

Scott spits out bottle; he has to burp. Better burp him before he spits up. Hannah looks okay with her bottle. Burp Scott; resume bottle feeding. Enjoy 30 seconds of silence. (Ah, the relaxing sound of babies sucking on bottles...)

Hannah spits out bottle and starts screaming and flailig her arms. Uh, oh; dirty diaper. Poor, poor poopy Hannah. Pick up Hannah and change diaper quickly. Did she pee mid-diaper swap? No? Good. Onsie is safe and so is the couch. Return to feeding; good baby.

Scott drops his bottle. He has fallen asleep. Okay... Take away bottle and back away slowly...

Hannah is sucking happily away. So far so good. Oops, Scott is spitting up. Mop up stinky formula; change onsie and blanket as needed. Scott is hungry again; give him back his bottle. Whee.

Hannah has fallen asleep. Expect 5 to 10 minutes of sleep before screaming resumes. Scott finishes his bottle. Yay, Scott. Burp Scott; he spits up on shirt. Whee. Insert pacifer in Scott's mouth; place baby in swing; turn on music. Now Mommy can relax. Enjoy that nice wet shoulder feeling, Mommy!

Wait 3 hours and repeat.

-P