Almost 3 months

We are approaching 3 months! Saturday the 23rd is the big day!

They are both over 10 lbs. Big, happy babies. We'll post pictures again, I promise!

Saturday Scott and Hannah are going to Grandma and Grandpa Conrad's. Jason and I are going to take a mini-vacation and are going to the Minnesota Renaissance Festival with one of my co-workers. Okay, okay, we're horrible parents. I'll be sure to feel bad as I'm eating a giant turkey drumstick.

-P

Twins FAQ

When you have twins, you get a lot of questions from people. Here are the most common ones...

1 - Are they identical?

Yes. My son and daughter are identical twins... except he has a penis and she doesn't. That and they don't really look alike. Other than that... they're identical.
(They're fraternal. Boy-girl twins can only be fraternal. A lot of people do ask though! -P)

2 - What do you do when they're both crying?

Curl up in the fetal position in the corner and join in the crying. Make a special adult-only bottle with special Jose Cuervo formula. (For a more detailed and realistic answer - see Pauline's post below.)

3 - Do you get much sleep?

Come on! I have two twins who are only 2 1/2 months old... what do you think!?! If I got a lot of sleep would I be writing sarcastic answers to all these questions? Well... probably - BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!!

4 - Are they chick magnets?

Yes, for about 5 minutes. Then the novelty is gone and the ladies move on.

5 - Twins! You're sooooo lucky!

That's not even a question!

6 - Are you going to make your twins Twins baseball fans?

HA! You are clever. Maybe you could do the old joke "Bueller.... Mueller... Mueller...." (Ferris Bueller's Day Off) in your best Ben Stein voice. No one has ever done that before!

7 - Are they expensive?

The average kid born in the early 21st century to a middle class American family will cost about $200,000 to raise before they reach 18. That doesn't even include college costs. The big question is this - is it a loan or a gift. That will largely depend on how they act in the teenage years. ;-)

8 - Are you going to turn them into right-wing-Vikings-loving-free-market-supporting-Regan-conservatives?

I'll give it my best shot. Packers suck. So do tax hikes.

9 - Are you going to have more?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahhahahahahahaha

*whew*

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehee

God that's funny... more kids... hehhehahahahahahhehehehahahuuhuhuhuh.

I think the phrase I'm looking for is "Not a chance in hell". We're done.

But just in case we get a "little gift" no one was expecting - I've already made Pauline promise me that we could name a 3rd child Yoda.

Hey, I had to give up on naming these two Luke and Leia Skywalker. I mean, that would have been perfect! They're brother and sister twins... I'm a Star Wars nut... I already had lightsabers ready for them!

Oh wait... I've already said too much. I'm going to go before I get into any more trouble.

- J

And now, for your entertainment . . . a juggling act

How to juggle twins:

Scott is crying; he wants a bottle. Hannah starts crying too, because why not? Sure, she'll take a bottle too. Mommy runs and makes bottles; pops a bottle in in each mouth; crying stops.

Scott spits out bottle; he has to burp. Better burp him before he spits up. Hannah looks okay with her bottle. Burp Scott; resume bottle feeding. Enjoy 30 seconds of silence. (Ah, the relaxing sound of babies sucking on bottles...)

Hannah spits out bottle and starts screaming and flailig her arms. Uh, oh; dirty diaper. Poor, poor poopy Hannah. Pick up Hannah and change diaper quickly. Did she pee mid-diaper swap? No? Good. Onsie is safe and so is the couch. Return to feeding; good baby.

Scott drops his bottle. He has fallen asleep. Okay... Take away bottle and back away slowly...

Hannah is sucking happily away. So far so good. Oops, Scott is spitting up. Mop up stinky formula; change onsie and blanket as needed. Scott is hungry again; give him back his bottle. Whee.

Hannah has fallen asleep. Expect 5 to 10 minutes of sleep before screaming resumes. Scott finishes his bottle. Yay, Scott. Burp Scott; he spits up on shirt. Whee. Insert pacifer in Scott's mouth; place baby in swing; turn on music. Now Mommy can relax. Enjoy that nice wet shoulder feeling, Mommy!

Wait 3 hours and repeat.

-P

Good times

The kids are doing great! Like Pauline said last week, they are sleeping longer during the night. They're also exploring things more. They have much better control of their hands. We have a swing with toys hagining off it for the kids to reach. If they pull them, the lights go on and music plays. Hannah and Scott have both been able to pull the toys and activate the fun!

They both are learning how to use their tongues. It's funny to see them stick out their tongue and roll it into a u-shape.

On the down side... they are both pretty colicky. Scott started with this first, and he's doing a little better - but Hannah is really bad. There are times she just screeeeeaaaaams and screams. The toughest part is -- you can't do much to help her. It breaks your heart to see her eyes tear up and her little lower lip quiver right before she starts crying.

I don't mean to dwell on the negative -things really are going well. We're coming up on their 3 month birthday - a week from this Saturday!

- J

It's a snap!

Snap your fingers and Hannah and Scott are sleeping through the night! Well, at least 6 hours. Hannah has maxed at 9 hours between feedings and Scott at 7, but it seems to have been a consistent 6 hours minimum since the middle of last week. The first night it happened I was still up at every whimper, expecting them to start screaming for a bottle. Nope. I know one night so far I did sleep like a rock.

It's as if a lightbulb turned on inside Scott and Hannah's heads. All of a sudden they are so much more alert, curious and playful! Hannah and Scott really enjoy their swing; Hannah likes to reach out toward the dangling toys and almost reached them! Jason's mom bought a little activity gym which they love; they lay on their backs and can see their face in a mirror, kick a ball, and reach for toys!

-P

Pictures of the little guys

Aunt Jackie is visiting, so it's picture time! Here are a few shots of the twins...


(Click on image to enlarge)

We have some video to post as well, but that may take a few days.

- J